Dagnabbit!

Soccer moms.
Piano moms.
Football moms.

Stand up and be heard. You are not second class citizens to hockey moms. Your minivan guzzles just as much foreign oil as theirs does. You need energy independence gained from drilling within sight of your beach vacation spots. You need to make sure that when your taxes go down because you are forever stuck in the middle class, you can go out and buy that Hummer on credit, and fill it with fuel that comes from places where the people like us. Gosh darn it. When your husband, Joe Six Pack, complains about the fact that he just doesn't have gas in his tank anymore, you can rest assured that someone is out there, making sure that we are ramping up, heating up, and creating jobs. Bless their hearts, but the evil people over there in "Eye" "Ran" are so busy making Nuc U Lar weaponry that they don't have time to sell us oil. So we just have to roll up our sleeves, pull on our muckrackers, and go north to that energy producing state of Alaska, where climate change is melting the permafrost, making it that much easier to get at the oil underneath.

So it doesn't matter that your children are perfectly healthy.
Don't feel bad that you live in the American heartland, where there is no oil.
Because there is an outsider who wants to come to Washington.
She'll be bringing her first dude, her 5 kids, and her 17 year old daughter's baby daddy with her.
Because she is a maverick.

Doggonit.